Combat Dungeon

“Combat Dungeon” by Andrew Yolland.

“[A] seat-of-your-pants thrill-ride full of non-stop twitch-action combat. […] Conquer the dungeon! Duke it out with goblins! Call wizards on the phone! Vape with ghosts!”

Most Bitsy games are quite short (but lovely anyway, as you will know if you are a frequent reader of this blog), but “Combat Dungeon” is a huge exception from that rule. The whole dungeon is pretty huge! Here you play as a fierce adventurer on a quest: To grab the rare item called the Ivory Ocelot and punch some goblins while you are on that. I mean, it’s not called “Combat Dungeon” without a reason, right? The only problem is: It is not called that.

The “Combat Dungeon” is actually the “No Combat Dungeon”, all your weird hero friends just shortened it like that. And as just you fight with the first creature, the mighty wizard Gygax catches you doing that and throws you into the basement jail as a punishment. Your only hope is your free phone call, but none of the contacts can help you out. But just as you get more and more desperate, you find an ominous paper on the floor… No spell, no escape plan, but erotic poetry. Yep, you read that right.

The literary effusions must have been written by someone in the dungeon. They are also signed with “Big G”, hint hint. If you make the right call and collect all the awkward poems for their author, you might get a chance to leave this godforsaken place. But make sure to get into as many side quests as possible, as they are amazingly fun. Pugnacious goblins, vaping ghosts, bureaucratic forms to lend valuable artifacts – “Combat Dungeons” has it all!